YOU SAY SATIRE, I SAY STUPID

SATIRE: A manner of writing that mixes a critical attitude with wit and humor in an effort to improve mankind and human institutions

That's what most defendants of the most recent New Yorker magazine cover that has Barack Obama dressed in traditional Muslim garb giving his wife, Michelle, dressed like civil rights activist, Angela Davis, with rifle, bandelero and fatigues, the 'terroist fist bump' (as it was said by the responsible reporters at FOX). The New Yorker's editor, David Remnick seemed shocked by the backlash. “Our cover … combines a number of fantastical images about the Obamas and shows them for the obvious distortions they are,” he said in a statement. I totally understand satire, because during the height of nastiness of the Democratic Primary between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama The New Yorker had a cover with the two candidates in bed at 3 AM (see photo), reaching for the phone. I am very surprised that tthere was no uproar about that cover.

I have no ill will towards, Mr. Remnick, I just believe that he wasn't thinking or he lives in a very insulated world, if he believes everyone would get the 'sly humor or satire' in the illustration, like the Central Park West crowd would. Mr. Remnick should have thought, that Senator Obama is the first black presidential nominee in U.S. history. And with the title comes a lot of extraneous and redundant questioning that usually comes from those white working class voters, who are usually resistant to the idea of a black president no matter how qualified he is. Mr. Remnick should have thought that those same voters would not look at this cover fairly and impartially and say, "My God, this illustration of obvious distortions is such a witty play on the conservative media's utterly ridiculous perception of the Obamas." No Mr. Remnick should have thought these voters are going to say, "I told you that nigger was a Muslim. And his rebellious wife gave him that secret handshake the terroists use to signal they're blowing up stuff tonight. I'm telling you can't trust him in office." An exaggeration you say, but this is also a country that voted George W. Bush into a second term (after a horrible first one), because "a wartime president needs to have the chance to complete the war he started (and look where that got us). In the over forty something elections for the Preseident of the United States not one nominee, except Barack Obama, has been steadily questioned about his religious creed and 'who he really is". We are four months away from this election and live in an instant information society. There is no God forsaken reason to not know the basics about Barack Obama. If a person says, "I don't know who he is", at this point, it's only code for 'I don't know if I can vote for a black person." I am not for censoring, but I am for thinking. If a mocking picture of John McCain as Father Time was on their cover-- oh wait, he is Father Time. M point is people can get over the mocking of age, most can see the absurdity and move on. But to mock Obama's loyalty to the country, which is what that traditional Muslim garb does and so does Michelle's AK-47. Not to mention the infamous 'fist bump', which in most black circles and neighborhoods is called 'giving each other a pound' as it was in the early ninties, when it started. But now due to conservative media ignorance and just plain old being late and corny, 'giving a pound has been turned into covert communication for Middle Eastern terrorists, who want their virgins now. Word to the wise and not so wise (see FOX channel), if you do not totally understand a cultural thing, do not comment on it,as though you do (again see FOX News).

No Mr. Remnick, I understand satire and I don't believe Barack is to be covered in teflon, but I expect you to not bet on the masses his country of being able to decipher things such as your cover without being spoonfed. No, I am not asking you to not be funny. No, I am not asking you to play into partisan politics. No, I am asking you to realize the politcal landscape for which we are on right now and not play into the ignorant voter's worst fears. Because those fears are flimsily, premised, in not the facts, but what some people want to believe. Now I think I'll go to the gym and scare all the white people, who live in fear.

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THE "NUTS" ARE IN HIS MOUTH

"The question is moot."
"Hymietown"
"I will not eat green eggs and ham."

Quotes from the Reverend Jesse Jackson in his illustrious public speaking career.

The Reverend Jesse "What Does He Put On His W-2?" Jackson put metaphorical "nuts" and his foot in his mouth yesterday. During a break on an appearance on FOX News' The O'Reilly Report, Rev. Jesse made the comments, "Barack is talking down to black folks on faith-based initiatives... I want to cut his nuts off." First, I must comment that Jesse was angry that Obama commented to a black church on Father's Day, on how we have young men creating babies and not taking care of them. Well, Jesse, has taken this wrong as he usually does. Because it's true. Jesse wants Obama to state what his administration will do to help correct this problem. Jesse needs to get off the "help me" bandwagon. I would never say that it's not the government's responsibility to not help in some way, but it can't help out totally. There has to be a point when humans take some responsibilty to for their actions. I said HUMANS because Jackson doesn't realize that though Barack Obama was talking to a black church, he was talking to the country of young men of all ethnicities. Though black men are disproportiantely fathering babies out-of-wedlock, numbers wise there are more white men doing this and more white babies being taken care of by the American government. Jesse Jackson has yet to realize that Barack Obama is running for president of the United States of America, not the United States of Black America. If Jesse realized that in 1984 he may have won more than the state of South Carolina.

Since, his comments, Jackson has apologized. I just believe that threatening to castrate the possible future president is really going to hurt Jesse's cut of the money for his church. I mean can you imagine the deacons and the head of the ladies auxiliary, Miss Coleen, waiting in Jesse's office to "talk" to him. "We could've finally marked off that damn building fund sign out front and you go threatening possibly the first black president. Dr. King and your out-of-wedlock daughter are just beaming with pride about this one, Rhyme-master."

I wonder, how a man, who has spent years in the limelight and knows what a 'hot mic' is, makes such a mistake. Was it his way of passively aggressively speaking to Barack about faith based initiatives? Was it Jesse's dumb ass way of trying to stay relevant in a world, where his rhymes don't work like they did back in the day? Was it the old guard showing that he lost his edge? Was it Jesse's crafty way of getting those tough-to-crack, "blue collar, working white voters" to side with Obama through their ongoing detest of Jackson? Nah, Jesse isn't that smart. The be quite honest, the question may never be answered. But I can say this, at this moment in time, Jesse's life of civil rights fighting, presidency running, daredevil linguistics, hostage negotiating and Dr. Suess reciting has reduced his final epitath to thewo rds, "cut his nuts off". And in turn, he has cut off the nuts of his political legacy.

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UNCLE JESSE HAS PASSED ON

Former Republican Sen. Jesse Helms, a leading conservative from North Carolina who served five terms in the Senate before retiring in 2003, has died, CNN said. He was 86. Helms, a blunt-talking product of the Old South, was known as "Senator No" for opposing just about anything that obstructed his conservative view of the world.

There are those, who may disagree, but Jesse clearly was not a fan of any person, place or thing of color (i.e. - see racist), as shown in his views or votes in the senate. In 1990 former Charlotte Mayor and African American, Harvey Gannt ran against Helms for his senatorial seat. Gannt asked basketball superstar and sneaker shill, Michael "Air" Jordan, at the height of his popularity for an endorsement. In which Jordan remained neutraly, by stating, "Republicans buy sneakers too." After realizing the err of his statement he stated, "if he had had more time review Gannt's policies, he may have endorsed him". If you couldn't endorse Gannt's policies, you could have opposed Helms' policies. Policies that probably would have had policies that would've kept people like Jordan (see black) impoverished and disenfranchised. But I digress, this is about the late Senator Helms, whose conservative views have done so much to slow down racial progress in America. So to Jesse, we bid you farewell.

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YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

President Chucklepuss has lifted economic sanctions on North Korea and the 'axis of evil', because officials have supposedly turned over long-awaited, accounting of their nuclear work (I'll believe it, when I see it). I mention this presidential smokescreen because it's these type of benign acts that keep our eyes away from what's really going on. Dubai, home to banks that funneled over one hundred thousand dollars 9/11 funds to Al-Quida and a once barren desert, is a now thriving society that could rival New York City. Now I can't pinpoint where this money is coming from, but I have a serious notion that the Iraq War (Occupation-- or whatever it's called today) is being paid for with American tax dollars. As our economy tailspins towards third world status, Haliburton, Dick Cheney's personal 401K plan, has built a new headquarters in Dubai with thoughts of stimulating the American economy. Because if I want to stimulate United States' economy the first thing I should always do is move the company's headquarters over five thousand miles away from a struglling workforce-- SYKE. People don't notice, but I do. The Bush family has kept a strong bond with the Royal Saudis in the United Arab Emirates dating back to the first Gulf War as headed under then president George Herbert Walker Bush and as far past as post 9/11. To those who still for some reason believe in George W. Bush, I implore you to truly see that pothole you think is getting filled with your tax dollars is really a resort being built for the rich and famous.

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IT'S A CELEBRATION...B****ES?

As Reverend Al Green engaged a mutli-generational crowd with his staple "Let's Stay Together, before he received the BET Awards Lifetime Achievement Award, I had feelings of ambiguity. Why you ask? Because as much as I am happy to see a high end production from the BET Awards show, during commercial breaks it's still promoting nothing but it's knock offs of MTV shows like Baldwin Hills and Hell Date. Two shows that show the world, spoiled rotten black kids and a dating show with a midget dressed like the devil. I must admit they slipped in a commercial for their first scripted show called "Somebodies". Was it enough to gather viewers? I don't know. Will it be any good? I really don't know, but at least we can't judge before it's first airing like "Hot Ghetto Mess".

Bob "Nigga Jim" Johnson sold BET and mayb his soul to Viacom for a billion dollars a few years back. With this sale, I've seen nothing, but an upping of production values but not the content. It uses a slicked out package to sell me something that's not good for me. The late publisher, John Johnson started the first black publications of EBONY and JET magazines in the mid 1950's and they are still in business. And throughout the years the JET Beauty of the Week could be the only example of exploitation and that is a stretch. It is great to see all this black talent and Lil' Wayne (that jab is another day, another entry) on the same stage, but I'm concerned. Don't get me wrong, you have to entertain, but just because somebody else does something doesn't mean we have to do it (i.e., "if your friend jumps off a bridge-- I think you know the rest). And I would never say to not be edgy, because as you know we here are fans of THE WIRE, but don't be edgy without a purpose. It has been said by Russell Simmons that he went to BET with Def Jam Comedy first, but they turned him down. HBO picked it up and created a brand, while bringing a generation of comedians to the world, including Chris Tucker, Bernie Mac and Martin Lawrence. Possibly Ed Simon could have gone to BET with the Emmy winning mini-series The Corner and the critcally acclaimed The Wire. Possibly BET would be known as a network of quality programming if they would stop aping the programming of it's MTV mothership under the Viacom umbrella and be original. Quite possibly it may be known as more than MTV Black.

Just because you put crap on china doesn't make it filet mignon. Sadly, BET reminds me of a 90's malt liquor commercial, in how they used rappers to get you to buy their rotgut. Remember Ice Cube, "St. Ides is giving ends!" Since then Cube has learned better as have I and my youthful drinking habits, but BET.... not so much.

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HERE WE GO AGAIN

Don "The Cryptkeeper" Imus is at it again and showing what must be his true colors.

During an on-air conversation Monday about the arrests of suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones, Imus asked, "What color is he?"

Told by sports announcer Warner Wolf that Jones is "African-American," Imus responded: "There you go. Now we know."


Now I believe there is not much more to question about the Cryptkeeper. Many bloggers are probably saying that he's a racist bastard... and he is. Many bloggers are probably saying that he should lose his job... and he should. Many bloggers are probably saying that Imus has no reason being on anyone's radio... and he doesn't. But this should have all been addressed when he did it the first time calling the Rutgers Lady Basketball team "nappy headed hos". Reverend Al Sharpton expressed that he was going to have to think about how to respond to this situation. What else is there to respond to? You responded to the Duke lacrosse team accusations at the drop of a hat. You responded to Imus' last 'insensitive' remarks. Imus's bosses have expressed that they will not let him go, so the only hope is a protest that will drive away station sponsors There is nothing eloquent for me to say here. This racist son-of-a-bitch needs to be placed into the DeeJay's old folks home to let him fade away with respect... then again, between 'nappy headed hos' and his most recent transgresion he does not deserve that respect.

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THE SEVEN WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY IN HEAVEN

George Carlin, the Grammy-Award winning standup comedian and actor who was hailed for his irreverent social commentary, poignant observations of the absurdities of everyday life and language, and groundbreaking routines like “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television,” died in Santa Monica, Calif., on Sunday, according to his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He was 71.

The cause of death was heart failure. Mr. Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, went into the hospital on Sunday afternoon after complaining of heart trouble. The comedian had worked last weekend at The Orleans in Las Vegas.

Richard Pryor was sitting outside a Starbucks in heaven, when he heard someone behind him say in a matter of fact manner, "Uh, have you seen a tall, black blonde, lady around here?" a famous George Carlin line from the Pryor film, "Car Wash". Upon hearing this, Pryor knowingly turned to find George. Pryor sternly responded, "Motherf****r, I told you not to be hanging around a pool room after dark with a pocket full of money." Carlin responded, "I wish. It was heart failure." Pryor scoffed, "I had three heart attacks before I got here. Ni**a, impress me." They laughed, drank coffee and talked trash the rest of the day.

At least that is what I'd like to think happened, after George Carlin's death was reported today. Carlin was of a generation that didn't conform but made you think and still laugh. There are many, who are fan of the Dane Cooks or Def Jam comedians, who are certainly successful via high profile and money, but they can't touch Carlin talent wise, if you embeded a Carlin box set in their rectums. Ironically, there are a number of comedians today with college degrees or at least a high school diploma, who couldn't craft a joke like Carlin did with his ninth grade education. Yes, ninth grade and he made us think more than a generation of comedians. I believe it is because when Carlin, Pryor, Dick Gregory and Lenny Bruce performed they spoke from a counter culture that wanted to prove the previous generation that they had something intelligent to say, but in a different manner. Today's comedian wants to launch a film career or at least have a sitcom based off their material, so they ride into the sunset on residuals. Now I'm not saying there are no comedians of that ilk out here today, we just have one less with the passing of this comedic legend.

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