…OF SAINTS, SINNERS and HYPOCRITES

The New Orleans Saints broke the rules, defied and lied to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. For that defiance they deserved to be punished. If my father told me specifically to not to go hanging in the French Quarter and then I ignored him and did it again. I would expect to be have all my driving privileges taken away for a month (but this isn’t about my teenage miscues). Sean Payton has been handed a season long suspension for systemic failures on his part in in this case. We all know the story of how the New Orleans Saints were running a—and I use the term loosely—“bounty program”, where non contract incentives were offered for “knock out” hits and “cart-offs” and repeatedly ignored.

As Saints fan, I am disappointed because I just don’t want my team to have any setbacks in the annual quest for “the ring”. As a football fan I respect that Goodell is commissioner and he has to police his sport, though I may beg to differ on his reasons. As a former football player, who began playing the sport at the age of 8 years old and continuing on to high school and college, I am taken aback by the media and the public’s so-called moral outrage and sudden concern for player personal safety in sports. If you haven’t realized it, football is not natural. Football is a violent sport, not high school football, not college football, not pro football—football is a violent sport. This is a sport where 22 men, who have been training their bodies for years to be fined, tuned, human catapults. These catapults then repeatedly engage in 75 to 85 violent collisions over a three hour period. As I said, “This is not natural.” For roughly 22 weeks, including pre-season and post season, 32 teams do this before filled 65,000 thousand seat stadiums and millions watching at home on TV. They all want to watch these modern day gladiators hit each other, not unlike old Roman Coliseum. The viewers at home want to watch this blood sport so badly they will pay $300 so they won’t miss a moment of all the games being televised from their modern day coliseums. The game is so loved the league at one point packaged a “Greatest Hits video of literally the most violent hits of the year. Football is so loved that a certain four letter network assembles plays to show at half time and hits are usually involved. This game is so loved, that fans have actually motioned to turn the Super Bowl day into a national holiday. But the moment a reporter kicks his Microsoft Word thesaurus into overdrive and uses a word like ”bounty” in reference of the sport. The warriors that are so celebrated are now vilified, equated with violent murderers and even considered to be brought up on criminal charges. Really, Joe Fan? The idea of incentive didn’t start in the Saints locker room. It has been going on for years across America and it starts on the playground. I can recall a coach offering $5 or a McDonald’s meal to whomever, in a room full of 8 year olds, had a big hit in the game. The rewards continue on in high school and college, where it’s even publicly celebrated with stickers on helmets. You don’t think all those stickers are for fumble recoveries do you? There’s always a reward for the violence football players perpetrate weekly, the coffers just differ in value at the different levels of play. I played football on the playground, high school and collegiate levels and I knew I was playing a violent sport. Each time I moved to another level of football I experienced an initial hit that “rang my bell” and signified to me that the level of play has yet again stepped it up, but I continue playing this violent sport. At eight years old I knew I wanted to be a part of this violent sport and I was reminded constantly in the beginning. I recall in one of my first practices as a child and I approached a tackle hesitantly with my head down and a turned shoulder. I instantly got angrily chewed out by my coach, who said “Don’t you ever let me see you make a tackle like that. If you don’t go full speed and you can get paralyzed.” My coach may have exaggerated that day but he wanted me to know is if I wasn’t going 100 miles an hour, the other player was. And while I may not get paralyzed I could get hurt. I must admit even before “bounty gate” the League concerned me with the way they want defensive players to turn their shoulders to make tackles now. They are asking people who have been taught all their lives to hit a player square and run their face mask into them. As much as wide receivers are “defenseless” now, I am more concerned about defensive backs are defenseless. Has anyone seen Calvin “Megatron” Johson? NFL Receivers are averaging 6’3, 240 nowadays. Can you imagine having to slow down to tackle him because you can only hit him with a certain part of your body? He will run across coverage and “through” a DB, who is trying to avoid hitting a defenseless receiver and not getting fined by Commissioner Goodell. The largest cry I hear from the public is how the Saints were out to hurt people and while nomenclature like “knock out” and “cart-off” have been tossed around like fish at Sea World, I think the media and league has jumped to the conclusion of malicious intent on the Saints part. Of the 6 billion people on Earth, the just over 1800 men who make up the NFL, they all know they play a violent game and are in a very, small fraternity. Yes, they all want to “hurt” each other which means, “I want you thinking about me so much, I take you out of your game and make you miss an assignment”. No one wants to end a person’s livelihood as I’ve heard so many players say. As a former a defensive player, I believe no one man would take a play off to “intentionally hurt a specific player”, if for nothing else but not miss their play assignment. In the 30 seconds before a play goes off, a defensive player is thinking “What’s the formation”, “what’s the coverage”, “how many running backs”, “is my assignment changing because of the formation”. Not “Where is the receiver I can get $1000 for hitting really hard?” If a player missed his assignment to “knock out” a player, it probably would be his last play ever for the Saints. I am not all knowing but I am quite confident that no pro football player intends to maliciously hurt another player. There’s just too much mutual respect for what the next man has done to get in this elite fraternity. If you’re still not convinced, recall Lawrence Taylor, the most feared linebacker in the game after he broke Joe Theismann’s leg on Monday Night Football. The sheer horror on Lawrence’s face as he called and beckoned for the ambulance to get to the field quickly should tell you enough of how players so respect one another. Now I know many will challenge me on the players “intent” but until you’ve run a 40 yard dash in their cleats you can’t really speak on it. And whilst my 40 time in slow, I’ve still managed to finish a few races. So my question for my outraged, PC, non-violent, pro football fans, if we proudly keep this personal safety up, when do they start playing flag football?

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BLACK HISTORY FACT (day 2)

Louis Eugene Wilcot was a part time calypso singer and the owner of Sweet Lou's BBQ in Harlem, when he had a chance meeting that would change him forever. While catering the wedding of one Poochie Jenkins, Louis met Poochie's cousin Elijah. Elijah told Louis, "No my brother the future is in turkey bacon and having your own religious sect." Louis took the advice of one Elijah Muhammad, changed his last name to Farrakahn and the rest is black history. This has been ablack history fact.

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DO YOU SEE, WHAT I SEE?

Tis' the morning after. The first true weekend of college and NFL football? Nooooo, it's the day after MTV Video Music Awards or VMA's as industry professionals refer to it (and the a-holes who like to acronyms repeatedly). Which is actually weird because MTV runs so many scripted "reality" shows, I don't ever see when nominated videos could actually air. Well, I for one did not see live airing of the coveted show because I was watching the Dallas "First to Play A Super Bowl in Our--- Blah, Blah, Blah" Cowboys put one in the 'L' column against the Washington Redskins. But when that rusty dagger in their hearts was taken out, I hopped on the laptop to look into 'the social network'(phrase copyrighted by Columbia Pictures) and what did I see in the twitter sea, but the trending topic be Kan-YE-- West that is. It seems many were praising the brave performance that closed the show. Other trending topics were Lady GaGa, the host Chelsea Handler and the pimple faced deity, Justin Beiber(spelling? don't care, never will). So I decided to see if I could catch some of the west coast feed of the show or the repeat because if nothing else MTV knows how to "encore" a show. So I'll run down my thoughts. Thought One. People spoke online about Chelsea Handler being a horrible host. Really? It amazes me how people ask a person to read a teleprompter and introduce other people and then say they were horrible at doing it. The only reason they would be a horrible host is if they couldn't read. Then that's a whole different story that goes into adult literacy that should've been discovered way before contracts were signed. There is no real failing at this gig. People complain to this day about David Letterman's hosting of the Oscars-- crap! nobody died and the show started and finished. He competently did his job. Thought Two. Justin Beiber, I don't get his success, nor shall I question it, but he had twelve grown men in letterman's sweaters with the letter "B" on it dancing behind him. The only thing more demoralizing than that is prison rape. Thought Three. I stand corrected. Carrying the train to Lady GaGa's dress is even more demoralizing than back up dancing for Beiber and prison rape. Thought Four. Kanye West's performance to close the show was brilliant. Let's get this straight Kanye West is a talented producer. He makes some good music but because of his sales, the PR machine, his obnoxious behavior and well his own declaration, he is deemed genius. His performance to close the show was not so brilliant. In a blood red suit, black shirt and gold chains, he stood alone playing a beat machine on a bare stage (I get the symbolism-- all I started with is me and my music). He commenced to perform the song, Runaway, which containts the lyrics "You've been putting up with my sh** too long" and "let's have a toast for the douchebags". He also had some ballet dancers bounding around the stage. Some will label me the infamous word "hater", but I like the term realist. 365 days ago, a drunken Kanye West ran up on stage and turned Taylor Swift into a superstar not for her talent but his interrupting her recieving an award because Kanyeezy thought Beyonce deserved the award (or he wanted to be noticed). The blowback from him destroying that young lady's moment made him realize that people were tired of his antics. I want to believe KanYeezy was sincere, but the last few weeks on Twitter he has been tweetng about how sorry he was for the Taylor Swift incident. I wanted to believe that but one his tweets was "I wish I could talk to all of my haters". Kayne-- bruh, if you ruined Taylor Swift's moment, the people aren't the haters, YOU are. Was he sincere? I think not. Thought Five. Eminem did the opening performance and left the theater immediately though he was receiving awards that night. When a perfomer of his caliber and such a high visibilty, leaves the awards show he opened, what does that say about said show? It's like Mel Gibson--okay not him-- but it's like Meryl Streep presenting at the Oscars then leaving even though she is up for Best Actress. Many area saying they saw this amazing show. Maybe I need glasses.

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WHO DAT? WE DAT! TWO DAT!

On this evening, the 2010 year of our Lord, the New Orleans Saints commence their journey for the ring... again. Yes, the defending Super Bowl Champions, New Orleans Saints begin the quest for another Lombardi trophy. I stress quest ring for another because all teams are undefeated starting tonight. The Saints have stated in the public that "we are the hunted" this year and its a totally different game in 2010. Last team to repeat was the 2003-2004 New England Patriots and no doubt it's a difficult thing to do. I am biased in saying that I believe that Da' Boyz can repeat, because it will take work and a laser-like focus. As I've heard in the past, it all starts from the top. And with the Saints it starts with coach Sean Payton and quarterback, Drew Brees. After watching America's Game 2009 on the NFL Network I realized that these two men may have that focus. Payton gave the team a list of 10 reasons why they should repeat as champions and 10 reasons why they shouldn't, "the choice is yours". Payton also told the story of being at Saints headquarters on a Sunday during a bye week to find Brees ALONE, at game time, going through the motions of a game. When Payton discovered this he asked Drew "Are we winning?" Brees smiled and replied "Of course". Linebacker Jonathan Vilma spoke of how Payton insisted that he be on the stand to receive the NFC championship trophy because he was such a big part of this journey. As hard as Payton was telling Garret Hartley to "stop ****ing sulking" after missing a field goal against the Bucs, he also told him, before he made the NFC championship kick heard around the world, "you belong here son". Payton's hard but he's fair, which is all you can ask for but not expect in this life because as we all know 'life IS unfair'. During this off-season, the Saints lost only two people from the Super Bowl roster and usually what destroys most Super Bowl teams is the concept of team and "we" becoming about the individual and "me". The Saints have been very steadfast about keeping a vice-like grip on the "we" concept. "We" is an attitude that reflects the people and city of New Orleans and the Saints are a manifestation of that attitude. "We" is slowly (and I do mean slowly) but surely bringing the city of New Orleans back. The Saints are just ahead of the curve with a Lombardi in the glass case. Ergo, I believe the Saints will be playing in Dallas AKA "Jerry's House" on Thanksgiving Day and in early February.

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HIDE YO' KIDS FROM ANTOINE

We have breaking news. Ignorance still reigns supreme. Dating back to deep in the 20th century, we have heard every possible joke about how newscasters find the most ignorant person to interview. I don't think the news media got the memo. Please meet Antoine Dodson, the witness, who deterred a would be rapist atop his sister and the newest internet sensation. He has appeared on TODAY show and other national shows to speak of his new found-- bucoonery (that's how ignorant he is and I have a copyright on the word "bucoonery") I mean new found fame. While I applaud Antoine's deterring of this heinous man, maybe he was speaking in the moment, which would explain his spontaneous and (let me reitterate)ignorant remarks in the interview. But what irks me most is that Antoine is doing every interview possible just to be on television and he has literally become Sleep N Eat and Mantan the Minstrel for these fifteen minutes of fame. These nine hundred seconds of fame are ones that I believe he will regret or maybe not (I'll leave that to Antoine) because the world is mocking him. From the gentlemen, who Auto-Tuned him to over nineteen million hits on YouTube and all the journalists like Matt Lauer and Meredith Vereira, who look at him and just fight back the laughter on this guy. MATT LAUER: "So Antoine, you actually saw your sister's assailant?" ANTOINE: "Yes, I did. Yes, I did, Mr.Today Show. And he better watch out, cause Antoine is on the prowl." Yes, Antoine is receiving half the profits from the sales of "Bed Intruder" on iTunes, but all money isn't good money. He has been turned into a 21st century minstrel and doesn't even know it. I will stop here, but I advise you as Antoine says "Hide yo' kids..... from Antoine."

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CRUNCH TIME

I find myself looking for a subject to write about literally at the 11th hour. It's 11:06pm and I have yet to put an entry in the Bastille. The recent reaching of a watermark in life made me decide to show some discipline in life and my profession of writing by doing daily entries in this blog o' mine. The thing is I have to be short, which for a long winded SOB like myself is like asking Montana Fishburne to not do something embarassing, but alas (you just don't get to use 'alas' as much today), I will. My wheels spin as I try to decide if I should political and talk about political sh** slinging President Obama is enduring while his Dems sit on their hands and testicles. Then I could speak of the exciting first weekend of college football games, but my audience would be whittled down to one, ME. I could do an observation piece on this homeless gentleman, who works outside the pharmacy, but that is so Steve Lopez and even with the book, Robert Downey Jr, Jamie Foxx and accompanying film, The Soloist didn't do well. So as my eardrums ae tickled by the sounds of Steely Dan's Peg, I realize there is not time to hem and haw (a phrasing my elder family members use) and write something interesting. So, I shall leave you with my true feelings (as seen above), since I am pissed at giving you this sham of an entry.

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THE RETURN

Greetings. The gatekeeper of Hades, Donovan Burke is back after a forced vacation, which I could easily blame on many outside factors other than myself, but I won't. I accept my part in "falling off". My feelings are... let's move forward from here. I realized I tuckered myself out in past entries by trying to write War & Peace on a daily basis. It's a blog, not State of the Union address. Now, I shall take a hint from Emmy Award winning writer of THE WIRE, TREME and my blog idol, David Mills AKA Undercover Blackman (R.I.P.). Keep it short, sweet and to the point. Not that he never said that but he led by his actions and his entries we short, sweet, to the point and they kept you coming back. I hope to be as discplined as he was from this point on. And now the Bastille. In my absence, I have been active, so has the world in general. President Obama is not as popular, the largest oil spill in history took place and LeBron ripped the heart out of a city. So what did I focus on? Lebron of course. Somewhere between the 2008 USA team, his mother's indiscretions with one Delonte West and South Beach, my mind came up with the following mock commercials, that I wrote and directed.

I hope you enjoyed it, I know LeBron and his mom probably didn't. But as I said, I hope to be short, sweet and to the point in the future.

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