BLACK HISTORY FACT (day 2)

Louis Eugene Wilcot was a part time calypso singer and the owner of Sweet Lou's BBQ in Harlem, when he had a chance meeting that would change him forever. While catering the wedding of one Poochie Jenkins, Louis met Poochie's cousin Elijah. Elijah told Louis, "No my brother the future is in turkey bacon and having your own religious sect." Louis took the advice of one Elijah Muhammad, changed his last name to Farrakahn and the rest is black history. This has been ablack history fact.

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DO YOU SEE, WHAT I SEE?

Tis' the morning after. The first true weekend of college and NFL football? Nooooo, it's the day after MTV Video Music Awards or VMA's as industry professionals refer to it (and the a-holes who like to acronyms repeatedly). Which is actually weird because MTV runs so many scripted "reality" shows, I don't ever see when nominated videos could actually air. Well, I for one did not see live airing of the coveted show because I was watching the Dallas "First to Play A Super Bowl in Our--- Blah, Blah, Blah" Cowboys put one in the 'L' column against the Washington Redskins. But when that rusty dagger in their hearts was taken out, I hopped on the laptop to look into 'the social network'(phrase copyrighted by Columbia Pictures) and what did I see in the twitter sea, but the trending topic be Kan-YE-- West that is. It seems many were praising the brave performance that closed the show. Other trending topics were Lady GaGa, the host Chelsea Handler and the pimple faced deity, Justin Beiber(spelling? don't care, never will). So I decided to see if I could catch some of the west coast feed of the show or the repeat because if nothing else MTV knows how to "encore" a show. So I'll run down my thoughts. Thought One. People spoke online about Chelsea Handler being a horrible host. Really? It amazes me how people ask a person to read a teleprompter and introduce other people and then say they were horrible at doing it. The only reason they would be a horrible host is if they couldn't read. Then that's a whole different story that goes into adult literacy that should've been discovered way before contracts were signed. There is no real failing at this gig. People complain to this day about David Letterman's hosting of the Oscars-- crap! nobody died and the show started and finished. He competently did his job. Thought Two. Justin Beiber, I don't get his success, nor shall I question it, but he had twelve grown men in letterman's sweaters with the letter "B" on it dancing behind him. The only thing more demoralizing than that is prison rape. Thought Three. I stand corrected. Carrying the train to Lady GaGa's dress is even more demoralizing than back up dancing for Beiber and prison rape. Thought Four. Kanye West's performance to close the show was brilliant. Let's get this straight Kanye West is a talented producer. He makes some good music but because of his sales, the PR machine, his obnoxious behavior and well his own declaration, he is deemed genius. His performance to close the show was not so brilliant. In a blood red suit, black shirt and gold chains, he stood alone playing a beat machine on a bare stage (I get the symbolism-- all I started with is me and my music). He commenced to perform the song, Runaway, which containts the lyrics "You've been putting up with my sh** too long" and "let's have a toast for the douchebags". He also had some ballet dancers bounding around the stage. Some will label me the infamous word "hater", but I like the term realist. 365 days ago, a drunken Kanye West ran up on stage and turned Taylor Swift into a superstar not for her talent but his interrupting her recieving an award because Kanyeezy thought Beyonce deserved the award (or he wanted to be noticed). The blowback from him destroying that young lady's moment made him realize that people were tired of his antics. I want to believe KanYeezy was sincere, but the last few weeks on Twitter he has been tweetng about how sorry he was for the Taylor Swift incident. I wanted to believe that but one his tweets was "I wish I could talk to all of my haters". Kayne-- bruh, if you ruined Taylor Swift's moment, the people aren't the haters, YOU are. Was he sincere? I think not. Thought Five. Eminem did the opening performance and left the theater immediately though he was receiving awards that night. When a perfomer of his caliber and such a high visibilty, leaves the awards show he opened, what does that say about said show? It's like Mel Gibson--okay not him-- but it's like Meryl Streep presenting at the Oscars then leaving even though she is up for Best Actress. Many area saying they saw this amazing show. Maybe I need glasses.

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WHO DAT? WE DAT! TWO DAT!

On this evening, the 2010 year of our Lord, the New Orleans Saints commence their journey for the ring... again. Yes, the defending Super Bowl Champions, New Orleans Saints begin the quest for another Lombardi trophy. I stress quest ring for another because all teams are undefeated starting tonight. The Saints have stated in the public that "we are the hunted" this year and its a totally different game in 2010. Last team to repeat was the 2003-2004 New England Patriots and no doubt it's a difficult thing to do. I am biased in saying that I believe that Da' Boyz can repeat, because it will take work and a laser-like focus. As I've heard in the past, it all starts from the top. And with the Saints it starts with coach Sean Payton and quarterback, Drew Brees. After watching America's Game 2009 on the NFL Network I realized that these two men may have that focus. Payton gave the team a list of 10 reasons why they should repeat as champions and 10 reasons why they shouldn't, "the choice is yours". Payton also told the story of being at Saints headquarters on a Sunday during a bye week to find Brees ALONE, at game time, going through the motions of a game. When Payton discovered this he asked Drew "Are we winning?" Brees smiled and replied "Of course". Linebacker Jonathan Vilma spoke of how Payton insisted that he be on the stand to receive the NFC championship trophy because he was such a big part of this journey. As hard as Payton was telling Garret Hartley to "stop ****ing sulking" after missing a field goal against the Bucs, he also told him, before he made the NFC championship kick heard around the world, "you belong here son". Payton's hard but he's fair, which is all you can ask for but not expect in this life because as we all know 'life IS unfair'. During this off-season, the Saints lost only two people from the Super Bowl roster and usually what destroys most Super Bowl teams is the concept of team and "we" becoming about the individual and "me". The Saints have been very steadfast about keeping a vice-like grip on the "we" concept. "We" is an attitude that reflects the people and city of New Orleans and the Saints are a manifestation of that attitude. "We" is slowly (and I do mean slowly) but surely bringing the city of New Orleans back. The Saints are just ahead of the curve with a Lombardi in the glass case. Ergo, I believe the Saints will be playing in Dallas AKA "Jerry's House" on Thanksgiving Day and in early February.

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HIDE YO' KIDS FROM ANTOINE

We have breaking news. Ignorance still reigns supreme. Dating back to deep in the 20th century, we have heard every possible joke about how newscasters find the most ignorant person to interview. I don't think the news media got the memo. Please meet Antoine Dodson, the witness, who deterred a would be rapist atop his sister and the newest internet sensation. He has appeared on TODAY show and other national shows to speak of his new found-- bucoonery (that's how ignorant he is and I have a copyright on the word "bucoonery") I mean new found fame. While I applaud Antoine's deterring of this heinous man, maybe he was speaking in the moment, which would explain his spontaneous and (let me reitterate)ignorant remarks in the interview. But what irks me most is that Antoine is doing every interview possible just to be on television and he has literally become Sleep N Eat and Mantan the Minstrel for these fifteen minutes of fame. These nine hundred seconds of fame are ones that I believe he will regret or maybe not (I'll leave that to Antoine) because the world is mocking him. From the gentlemen, who Auto-Tuned him to over nineteen million hits on YouTube and all the journalists like Matt Lauer and Meredith Vereira, who look at him and just fight back the laughter on this guy. MATT LAUER: "So Antoine, you actually saw your sister's assailant?" ANTOINE: "Yes, I did. Yes, I did, Mr.Today Show. And he better watch out, cause Antoine is on the prowl." Yes, Antoine is receiving half the profits from the sales of "Bed Intruder" on iTunes, but all money isn't good money. He has been turned into a 21st century minstrel and doesn't even know it. I will stop here, but I advise you as Antoine says "Hide yo' kids..... from Antoine."

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CRUNCH TIME

I find myself looking for a subject to write about literally at the 11th hour. It's 11:06pm and I have yet to put an entry in the Bastille. The recent reaching of a watermark in life made me decide to show some discipline in life and my profession of writing by doing daily entries in this blog o' mine. The thing is I have to be short, which for a long winded SOB like myself is like asking Montana Fishburne to not do something embarassing, but alas (you just don't get to use 'alas' as much today), I will. My wheels spin as I try to decide if I should political and talk about political sh** slinging President Obama is enduring while his Dems sit on their hands and testicles. Then I could speak of the exciting first weekend of college football games, but my audience would be whittled down to one, ME. I could do an observation piece on this homeless gentleman, who works outside the pharmacy, but that is so Steve Lopez and even with the book, Robert Downey Jr, Jamie Foxx and accompanying film, The Soloist didn't do well. So as my eardrums ae tickled by the sounds of Steely Dan's Peg, I realize there is not time to hem and haw (a phrasing my elder family members use) and write something interesting. So, I shall leave you with my true feelings (as seen above), since I am pissed at giving you this sham of an entry.

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THE RETURN

Greetings. The gatekeeper of Hades, Donovan Burke is back after a forced vacation, which I could easily blame on many outside factors other than myself, but I won't. I accept my part in "falling off". My feelings are... let's move forward from here. I realized I tuckered myself out in past entries by trying to write War & Peace on a daily basis. It's a blog, not State of the Union address. Now, I shall take a hint from Emmy Award winning writer of THE WIRE, TREME and my blog idol, David Mills AKA Undercover Blackman (R.I.P.). Keep it short, sweet and to the point. Not that he never said that but he led by his actions and his entries we short, sweet, to the point and they kept you coming back. I hope to be as discplined as he was from this point on. And now the Bastille. In my absence, I have been active, so has the world in general. President Obama is not as popular, the largest oil spill in history took place and LeBron ripped the heart out of a city. So what did I focus on? Lebron of course. Somewhere between the 2008 USA team, his mother's indiscretions with one Delonte West and South Beach, my mind came up with the following mock commercials, that I wrote and directed.

I hope you enjoyed it, I know LeBron and his mom probably didn't. But as I said, I hope to be short, sweet and to the point in the future.

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KOBE IS STILL NOT THE G.O.A.T.

The O'Brien Trophy has been awarded, Ron Artest's new single has been released and scores of sports journalists are waxing poetic about the Lakers winning back-to back NBA Finals, this off-season's crop of free agents and the legacy of one Kobe Bean Bryant. Let me cut through the buttery vernacular and state "Kobe Bryant is not the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time for the casual sports fan)." When the GOAT discussion arises he is definitely present, but "Kobe is not the GOAT." He may not be the greatest Laker. The biggest problem is people waver between deciding by strictly numbers or intangibles. I immensely respect numbers but you can't ignore the intangible of the "never seen before" factor. That's when a player takes changes the game. Those people deserve the GOAT title and Kobe Bryant has not done that.

Jerry "The Logo" West was the all-time leading Laker scorer. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the all-time leading scorer in The Association's history, but if you asked anyone who is the greatest Laker ever most would respond “Magic" Johnson and he was never the Lakers all time leading scorer. But he was the engine that made the 80's Laker teams run like a Ferrari. At the age of 20, Kobe couldn't average twenty points a game and was throwing up air balls in Utah. At that same age, Magic Johnson made us realize that a 6'9" point guard could make no-look passes and move better than a six foot point guard. At the age of 20 as an NBA rookie, Magic walked into the hostile Boston Garden and played guard, forward and center in an NBA Finals Game 6. He would score 42 points, grab 15 boards and deliver 6 assists to win the world championship. We watched Magic in total awe because we had never seen anything like him. A 6 foot point guard, which was the norm, is now considered an anomaly because we have a generation of passing, 6'5" point guards because of Magic Johnson showing us what had "never been seen".

With Kobe winning his 5th championship ring, those who respect numbers and Kobe fans will state that, "Kobe has got to be considered the GOAT now." Well, if that's the case, so is Derek Fisher, who has won 5 rings and even former Laker Robert Horry, who has won 7 rings. And if we're going to measure by the number of rings then Bill Russell is the GOAT because he won 11 championship rings with the Boston Celtics. Kobe has been amazing, since taking the reins to lead "his" Laker team in 2004. I even felt he deserved more than one regular season MVP trophy during these recent, lean, Laker years or at least free back surgery for carrying the team so long. Many fans and pundits also say that Kobe is now worthy of Michael Jordan's GOAT crown, but I must adamantly disagree. Kobe was definitely one of the important factors on his Laker teams during the 3-peat years of 2001 to 2004, but you can't act like three time Finals MVP Shaquille O'Neal did not exist. Shaq sometimes accounted for two defenders and gave Kobe the court spacing to get his numbers. Who did Michael Jordan have in the middle? Luc Longley? Bernard Cartwright? Those two clogged up the paint like British Petroleum oil execs. My point is when you start calling Kobe the GOAT and speaking of his 5 championship rings, first consider he still doesn't have 6rings like MJ and three of them were on a Shaq-led team. Don't get me wrong, this is not a personal love of the good old 80's or MJ, but it is just a statement of facts. Let the court record the following facts for the man they called Air:

5 league MVP trophies. 6-time NBA champion (1991-93, 1996-98); NBA MVP (1988, '91, '92, '96, '98); 10-time All-NBA First Team (1987-93, 1996-98); All-NBA Second Team (1985); Defensive Player of the Year (1988); 9-time All-Defensive First Team (1988-93, 1996-98); Rookie of the Year (1985); 14-time All-Star; All-Star MVP (1988, '96, '98)

MJ won seven straight scoring titles. To win a scoring title in the NBA (home of the best basketball players on the planet), you have to average more than over 400 players over 82 games. MJ did this seven years in a row. He even shot over 50 percent for two seasons. Kobe has never shot over 50 percent for a season. I so respect his numbers but MJ's "never been seen" before factor is off the charts. We had never seen a man score 63 points on the Celtics in The Garden (and this was during a period in the NBA, if you weren't bleeding there was no foul). We had never seen a player get a mere few feet from the goal and then pass. We had never seen a player dunk sideways from outside of the paint. We had never seen a player change hands mid-shot as he falls and make it. We had never seen a player take criticism of his game personally every off-season and add another facet to his game to prove all the naysayers wrong. We had never seen a player take off for an entire season, to only return mid-season and drop 55 points on the New York Knicks in Madison Square Garden. We had never seen a player sick with the flu be carried on and off the court during an NBA Finals Game. We had never seen a player average 41 points in an NBA Finals series. Kobe Bryant is no doubt the best basketball player on the planet Earth, but I will tell you, when I see something in Kobe that I've "never seen before". And I just don't see in Kobe's game the Wright Brothers flying for the first time, but I do see Michael Jordan getting ready for take off.

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