LYRICS TO GO

“Soulja Boy off in dis hoe! Watch me Crank dat Soulja Boy, then Superman dat hoe!”

That is the infamous “hook” (as in from the Billboard, chart-topping, number one song, “Crank Dat Soulja Boy” by none other than, “I don’t know how long his star will shine”, rapper, Soulja Boy. As popular as the drivel is, it was just as benign to my senses, until I heard an old man and a young girl argue it’s merits. I had pulled into a pharmacy parking lot next to a car occupied by a young lady, who was I guess awaiting a shopper’s return. She was doing what kids do and that’s playing music loudly. The melodic, Pro-Tools enhanced, whining of Marques Houston cut the air like a rusty paring knife. I proceeded inside. I returned to hear the aforementioned “Crank That” song playing loudly and the young lady debating an old man about the phrase, “Superman dat hoe!”. I immediately understood his argument or so I thought, because a young lady just shouldn’t be happily using a word like “ho” that demeans her whole being as a woman. No, it went much deeper as the man expounded on how he “reads it on the World Wides Web”. While I smirked at his annunciation, I than took my time getting into my car as I eavesdropped on their conversation/debate as he further explained “I know 'supermanning' means for a boy to jerk off and put it on your back”. Appalled, at this point, is the only reaction that I could give upon hearing this. The young lady continued on that Soulja Boy didn’t mean the phrase in that manner in the clean version of the song and that Soulja meant it like he was referring to the ubiquitous hero, Superman. Well, I know I shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Jor-El, comic book artist, Joe Shuster or the people at DC Comics ever thought the word Superman would be used in this manner. Mind you, I’m still reeling back from discovering this horrendous, definition of “Superman”. The man argued that “his music” was ‘good, wholesome” music, like the Jackson 5 and Steely Dan and I had to agree with him. That was some great music and it didn’t really objectify or offend anyone. While I was stunned by this elderly man’s varied, musical tastes, I also realized that my clandestine eavesdropping had been found out, as these two, music pundits were now looking me dead in my grill. I gave them the affable head nod and drove away in my car. But I could not get “superman”, Steely Dan and the J-5 off my mind, so I as soon as I got home I did an internet search on the term “superman, slang”. Up pops an urban dictionary and the official definition was, “a guy cums on a girl's back, as she sleeps and puts a ‘sheet’ on her back. When she wakes in the morning and the ‘sheet’ is stuck to her back, creating the appearance of a cape. At this point, you have officially ‘supermanned’ that hoe."

You can close your mouth now. I was just as shocked. You do have your doubts, hearing this from some possibly dementia-laden, geriatric, but when you find numerous “urban” and “slang” dictionaries confirming the meaning— well, you get it, I was shocked to say the least. I was like a hip-hop Columbus, I was just going to the store for some anti-freeze and a bag of Funyuns and I run into this filthy phrase that is innocently chanted (or maybe not) by millions daily. Don’t get me wrong and put me on the shelf, with old 45’s and 12 inch remixes, but daaaaaaayuuuum!!!!! I grew up on NWA, but that stuff was heard in the clubs or in the streets. This “superman” stuff is usually being heard daily, by the kids, who really don’t have the guidance to process this sh** and not take it as life itself, like the young lady, who was all of probably 14 years old defending the artist (and I use that term lightly) Soulja Boy. After my ire somewhat settled, I thought back to the elderly man’s mention of the Jackson 5 and Steely Dan. I looked into their lyrics, randomly choosing, “The Love You Save” and “Deacon Blues”, respectively. “The Love You Save” was a schoolyard, cautionary tale of a girl, who was how shall I this say, she free with her affections for the boys. Listen to this passage wailed by a pre-rhinoplasty Michael,

“Isaac Said He Kissed You,
Beneath The Apple Tree
When Benjie Held Your Hand He Felt
E-Lec-Tri-Ci-Tee!
When Alexander Called You
He Said He Rang Your Chimes
Christopher Discovered
Your Way Ahead Of Your Times"

Forgive me for being judgmental, but this young lady is a 3rd grade whore. Originally, this song was written by adults and I’d be one to believe that the lyrics were toned down for the bubblegum soul crowd. I mean if we heard Michael sing:

“Issac said he banged you,
In his Coup D’Ville
Benny got to third base
Under the window sill
When Alexander called you
He said he hit your spot
Christopher became a man
On your mama's old cot”


If he recorded that, I’d be one to believe the J-5 wouldn’t have sold as many records and Michael Jackson might not be the “king of pop”, but just a big nosed fellow working in a Gary, Indiana ratchet, factory.

I must almost comment on the "good and wholesome" Steely Dan’s “Deacon Blues” song lyrics. In recent months, parents’ have expressed concerns with Sean Kingston’s mega-hit song, “Beautiful Girls”, in which he sings that these 'beautiful girls' make you suicidal. Being the responsible artist, Sean changed the lyrics and he should be commended. But I listened to “Blues” closely, which had the following lyrics being sung in the refrain no less,

“I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues”

I love the song, but I’ve got to admit, Steely is talking excessive drinking, drunk driving and probably what could be considered borderline depression in these few lyrics. Now I am one to be subjective and pass judgment, but I wish I could tell that old man, I feel you on the ‘superman’ thing, but “your music” wasn’t always screaming “good and wholesome” as he so bluntly proclaimed. As for me, well, up, up and AWAY!!!

Now follow me to freedom!