ACT LIKE A ******

Dear President Obama

I cannot believe it’s been a whole year since that cold day in Washington, DC last year, where the only thing that could keep you warm was your promise of change on the horizon of Washington politics. Over the past year, you’ve moved into a new house, been criticized for taking your wife out on a date, bought a dog, called a “liar”, commented on your friend being arrested in his own home, had a beer with the arresting officer, sent more troops to another country, tried to get a national healthcare bill passed and oh yeah, you even won a prize for being a peaceful guy. It has been a pretty full year for you. I must commend you for attempting to govern in a truly bipartisan manner by using the same skillful, nuanced, methods you used to win the White House. Now that your extended hand, symbolic olive branch and whatever other symbol of healthy compromise have been repeatedly slapped to the ground and fallen on the deaf “I don’t care if you’re right, you’re still wrong” ears of The Republicans it is time for you to change your M.O. I suggest that you --- and I know use of this word won’t be popular with many in the black community--- act like a ******. Yes, I said it, act like a ******. And while I know the word’s history with African Americans in this country, but to my critics I use the term in this piece more to be associated with “rebellious, don’t give a damn what you say, I’m gonna do what I do and you will get out of my way”, behavior. Why do I use this term? Because no one seems to listen to anything else but bold, brash, bullyish, ******-like behavior, kind of like George W. Bush did during his eight years in the Oval Office. George W. Bush found old, antiquated, executive privilege laws and used them to the fullest to progress his agenda and to say the least he was successful --- in bankrupting this country. To be quite honest, I always suspected the first black president would act just like George W. Bush did because he or she would figure I need to ‘act a fool’, while I’m in office because I know I’m not getting a second term. You know, things like give out reparations for slavery, pardon all his or her friends in jail, give out Pell Grants to all his friends with college age kids, pimp out the Presidential limousine, put up a basketball court on the White House grounds, throw back a few beers in the White House Garden—oh wow, Mr. President you’ve done some of this stuff already. Well, Mr. President you’re halfway down the road to “acting like a ******.” You’re totally ahead of the curve, you just have to take those natural instincts and apply them to the work day. The same Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats, who support Charter Schools because they bring about healthy competition with public schools, fight like rabid dogs against your public option in a healthcare bill that is supposed to bring about healthy competition within the country’s medical situation. It is at this moment, you should act like a ******”. You should go to the Blue Dog Democrats and tell them, if you vote with them, strongly imply that ‘things happen’. When they turn incredulously and ask “what do you mean Mr. President?” Innocently reply to them, “Huh? Oh I don’t know. Just saying. Things happen. Funding for your state gets cut off, you can’t get face time with the President. You know, I get five free kills as president. Things happen.” Of course I’m joking about killing anyone, but you gather what I am saying, Barack.

Just twenty four hours ago, the Democratic Party lost the Massachusetts, Senate seat that was Democratic since 1972 (via Ted Kennedy) and all the Democrats are now looking around at each other like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. You would be totally justified in acting like a *****. All they had to do was make a half hearted effort and they would’ve delivered the seat, but alas they didn’t. You were already having issues with getting votes on the Hill and they just made it even more difficult with the loss of this seat. Mr. President you need to metaphorically turn over some tables in Washington,DC and let everyone know that you are the President of the United States and no one else. Your opponents are going to be angry at you no matter what you do, why not get what you want while you’re at it. You are making efforts to assist in the devastation of the Haiti earthquake which has killed 200,000 people, but Rush “The Real College Dropout (my apologies Kanye)” Limbaugh found a way to state that you were “trying to ingratiate yourself with light and dark skinned black people”. As if you really needed assistance in that category. If that is the type of behavior you will receive, I say give it back to them. Junior congressmen from South Carolina (because I won’t give him press by repeating his name) won’t think about yelling during your speeches and right wing pundits will check themselves before saying the wrong thing for they will fear the wrath of President Obama. Why? Because every once in a while, you act like a ******. If that doesn’t convince you think about Nat Turner and Felix Macon. Nat Turner led a slave revolt through the countryside, killing people because he wanted his freedom. Now I am by no means suggesting to kill people in Washington, but think about Felix and who is Felix? Felix is the forgotten slave, who said “Nat, I don’t think you’re going to get anywhere by acting like a ******.”

Signed

Rusty “you still got my vote” Eagle

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YOUNG, DUMB AND FULL OF....

I admit that I have been a fan of Aaron McGruder and his inflamatory opus The Boondocks about the lives of child revolutionary Huey and his wannabe thug brother, Riley, in the comic strip and Cartoon Network series of the same name. The show is by no means perfect. When it hits, IT HITS and when it misses, it MISSES. McGruder tends to take part in a type of anime masturbation (if you will), when scenes contains martial arts and he tends to go over the top with some of the viewpoints, but sometimes when doing comic satire it is needed. But McGruder has other streams of income, which is public speaking at colleges. This is due to his ability to touch nerves of the public with the comic strip combined with his African-American Studies degree from the University of Maryland. He recently made a statement that "touched" some nerves while speaking at Earlham College.

On the eve of President Barack Obama’s inauguration, McGruder is “cautiously pessimistic” about the presidency. “I don’t think you’re going to see any dramatic change from Barack Obama,” said McGruder, who wore a “Boondocks” T-shirt over a black long-sleeve shirt and jeans. “I’m hoping he proves me completely wrong.”

McGruder bases his opinions of the U.S. presidency on the 2000 election and how nothing has been done since then to change the election system. “It was a sham then … It’s got to still be a sham,” McGruder said. “I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but it’s what I tend to do.”

On the topic of race and ethnicity, McGruder said that to him, Obama is not black because he is not a descendant of a slave. “The person who is one of us in the White House is Michelle Obama and her momma,” McGruder said.

I find it preposterous that a man with the features favoring that of a European and lacking so heavily in the melanin column can question President Obama's blackness, when he isn't anywhere close to being a pure blood Zulu warrior his damn self. Yes President Obama is bi-racial, but to say a person is not black because he isn't a descendant of a slave? WTF?! I won't let being the descendant of a slave determine my ethnicity no more than I would the "fraction of blood" test, what hood I'm from or "how real I can keep it". I am not in a The Empire has fallen and the galaxy is back in serenity by no means, but this isn't Jesse "I wanna cut his nuts off" Jackson. This is a man, who has endured an extreme amount of scrutiny and vetting than the average presidential candidate because he was considered black by the nation despite his not having a box marked Bi-Racial to check. I'm not saying give President Obama a pass, but let's not go up the man's a** with Hasbro's new Junior CSI DNA Kit. This is an example of a mind being a terrible thing to waste. Armed with his University of Maryland African American studies McGruder seems like a young Mike Tyson at a strip joint or a pitbull living at 1915 Moonlight Road (AKA the Michael Vick residence). As good as a satirist as McGruder is there is a point where you are touching nerves just to be touching them and not making an f***ing point. Being that his comic strip no longer runs in the newspapers (to my knowledge) and the third season of the Boondocks has yet to air or get an air date, I can only assume he is trying to keep his name in spotlight. Well guess what Aaron... mission accomplished.

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THE 45 YEAR RACE

In my post collegiate football years living in the nation’s capital, I became a runner— okay, let me not fool myself, a jogger. Anyway, I began running around the Howard University area, only to be made to feel uneasy on 13th street by a trio of ogling, she-males, but I digress. A friend suggested I run on the National Mall. I did and fell in love with it. It was scenic and it was two miles in length (just good enough for my post jock era). Day after day, I took in the landscape, meaning the national monuments, The Washington Monument, The Capitol Building and The Lincoln Memorial. After running by these buildings for months on a daily basis I finally comprehended the magnitude of their meaning with the Capitol being where our legislative branch of the government operates and the president is sworn in. The Lincoln Memorial being where the Dr. King delivered his infamous “I Have A Dream” speech at the March on Washington. When I first got to Washington, I saw these buildings as well, just buildings, but I never “saw” them for their context and meaning in American history. They became even more clear today, as The Dream of a Georgia preacher that began a two mile race on the steps of The Lincoln Memorial in 1963 and finished it today on the Capitol’s steps vas a skinny black kid named Barack Obama was inaugurated as America’s first black president. Sure it took 45 years to run two miles, but sometimes life isn’t about finishing, it’s about finishing the race. So on this historic day, I marvel at a race that began with the four words, “I Have A Dream” and ended with four, “I, Barack Hussein Obama…”

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DEEZIE GETS HER NEO-CON ON

Secretary of State, Condoleeza "Deezie" Rice is, back in the news from shoe shopping and getting her Republican on. In an effort to impress President Chucklepuss and the Republican party, she issued the following mandate the night before presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama left for a tour of US bases overseas in Afghanistan, Iraq and Western Europe: All US missions are forbidden from holding events for presidential candidates or arrange meetings for them. (i.e., don't help that ni**er, Barack in any way)

How ironic? There are only two nominees left in the U.S. Presidential race and she sticks it to Barack Obama. Deezie issued no such mandates during previous trips made by presumptive Republican nominee John "Grampa Simpson" McCain. You'd think that Deezie would have issued this while there were a few more candidates in the race, so it wouldn't be so transparent. But she does this right after Grampa raises living hell about Obama not visiting the Middle East. McCain's campaign made such a fuss, they even kept a public count on how many days it had been since he visited. I guess Deezie wasn't so proud of the first African American becoming a U.S. presidential nominee, as she has stated after Hilary conceded. I totally understand loyalty, but loyalty is something that occurs, when it is reciprocated. I find it amazing that, Deezie, one of those most invisible Secretary of State's in U.S. history, will still do for the administration that has basically "castrated" her power from day one and used her as nothing but a token. Deezie, I hope that your allegiance is rewarded with a well paying, society destroying job in the private sector (like so many other Neo-cons) after this administration is over. If not, with a name like Condoleeza, there's always a hot comb at some hair salon with your name on it. So to you, I say, "Press on, 'guuuurlfriend".

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DOES ANYTHING HAVE TO BE SAID?

Like I said a few days ago, I understand satire, but you can't give people that much credit for intelligence, as displayed by this asshole, so-called clothes designer.

A 25-year-old New York City graduate student is threatening to sue a T-Shirt designer after being assaulted for wearing one of his designs.

The woman bought a $69 shirt from Apollo Braun's Manhattan boutique that bore the words, "Obama is my slave." When she wore the shirt on Tuesday, four teenage girls accosted her - shoving her, pulling out her earphones, and spitting in her face, according to the New York edition of Metro News.

The unnamed woman is reportedly seeking solace by suing Braun - born Doron Braunshtein - for "all he's got," the designer claims. He, of course, is shirking any responsibility for the incident and says that the shirt reflects the views of "ordinary WASPs."

“For a lot of people, when they see Obama, they see a slave. People think America is not ready for a black president,” the Israeli-born designer said.

“I can’t stand Obama,” Braun says, but claims that it's not because the candidate is black. “That’s the only thing I like about him. He opens the door for other minorities.”

“He reminds me of Adolf Hitler,” Braun explained, adding he does not like the Illinois senator because “he is a Muslim” — a myth that Obama apparently cannot escape.

The designer has sold several other anti-Obama styles from his boutique, including shirts with slogans such as “Jews Against Obama,” “Obama = Hitler” and “Who Killed Obama?”

This is what I mean, people need to think about the political climate we live in. I and many people can dismiss this ignorance, but there are those, who now believe their feelings and agendas are validated by acts like this. I can't give any more of this ignorance my attention.

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YOU SAY SATIRE, I SAY STUPID

SATIRE: A manner of writing that mixes a critical attitude with wit and humor in an effort to improve mankind and human institutions

That's what most defendants of the most recent New Yorker magazine cover that has Barack Obama dressed in traditional Muslim garb giving his wife, Michelle, dressed like civil rights activist, Angela Davis, with rifle, bandelero and fatigues, the 'terroist fist bump' (as it was said by the responsible reporters at FOX). The New Yorker's editor, David Remnick seemed shocked by the backlash. “Our cover … combines a number of fantastical images about the Obamas and shows them for the obvious distortions they are,” he said in a statement. I totally understand satire, because during the height of nastiness of the Democratic Primary between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama The New Yorker had a cover with the two candidates in bed at 3 AM (see photo), reaching for the phone. I am very surprised that tthere was no uproar about that cover.

I have no ill will towards, Mr. Remnick, I just believe that he wasn't thinking or he lives in a very insulated world, if he believes everyone would get the 'sly humor or satire' in the illustration, like the Central Park West crowd would. Mr. Remnick should have thought, that Senator Obama is the first black presidential nominee in U.S. history. And with the title comes a lot of extraneous and redundant questioning that usually comes from those white working class voters, who are usually resistant to the idea of a black president no matter how qualified he is. Mr. Remnick should have thought that those same voters would not look at this cover fairly and impartially and say, "My God, this illustration of obvious distortions is such a witty play on the conservative media's utterly ridiculous perception of the Obamas." No Mr. Remnick should have thought these voters are going to say, "I told you that nigger was a Muslim. And his rebellious wife gave him that secret handshake the terroists use to signal they're blowing up stuff tonight. I'm telling you can't trust him in office." An exaggeration you say, but this is also a country that voted George W. Bush into a second term (after a horrible first one), because "a wartime president needs to have the chance to complete the war he started (and look where that got us). In the over forty something elections for the Preseident of the United States not one nominee, except Barack Obama, has been steadily questioned about his religious creed and 'who he really is". We are four months away from this election and live in an instant information society. There is no God forsaken reason to not know the basics about Barack Obama. If a person says, "I don't know who he is", at this point, it's only code for 'I don't know if I can vote for a black person." I am not for censoring, but I am for thinking. If a mocking picture of John McCain as Father Time was on their cover-- oh wait, he is Father Time. M point is people can get over the mocking of age, most can see the absurdity and move on. But to mock Obama's loyalty to the country, which is what that traditional Muslim garb does and so does Michelle's AK-47. Not to mention the infamous 'fist bump', which in most black circles and neighborhoods is called 'giving each other a pound' as it was in the early ninties, when it started. But now due to conservative media ignorance and just plain old being late and corny, 'giving a pound has been turned into covert communication for Middle Eastern terrorists, who want their virgins now. Word to the wise and not so wise (see FOX channel), if you do not totally understand a cultural thing, do not comment on it,as though you do (again see FOX News).

No Mr. Remnick, I understand satire and I don't believe Barack is to be covered in teflon, but I expect you to not bet on the masses his country of being able to decipher things such as your cover without being spoonfed. No, I am not asking you to not be funny. No, I am not asking you to play into partisan politics. No, I am asking you to realize the politcal landscape for which we are on right now and not play into the ignorant voter's worst fears. Because those fears are flimsily, premised, in not the facts, but what some people want to believe. Now I think I'll go to the gym and scare all the white people, who live in fear.

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FOUR RACE CARDS AND A PASTOR

"You know he's black".

Today the 2008, Indiana and North Carolina primaries will be decided between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and one thing has been as sure as death and taxes. Race has played a part in this campaign and been used like slim-jim on a car sitting alone on the 4th floor of parking garage. Early on here at the Bastille, we felt that we would be lucky to have Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama as a presidential nominee, but with time Hillary bared her "racial" claws and dug deep into Obama, like a cat trapped in a corner. As has the mainstream media and I’m not just talking about FOX News.

Throughout Hillary’s campaign, the issue of race has floated just under the surface of a frozen sea of prejudice, like a seal or penguin looking for a break in the ice. Sadly, that break has never been found and Obama has been steadily bumping his head into the frozen blocks of ice called, “Reverend Wright”, “elect-ability and “he can’t pull white voters”. Never in my life would I believe that a political candidate would be so beholden to words by his pastor. But then again Obama is the candidate -- forgive me THE BLACK CANDIDATE, which is the big difference. Barack Obama was an afterthought to candidates John McCain and Hillary Clinton months ago. He was such a novelty on the political landscape, that Hillary Clinton felt counting the states of Florida and Michigan were not worth her time. She even signed a paper to officially discount those votes. After Obama had a run of winning 11 straight states in primaries she felt it was important that “these states and their voters be counted”, but it was too late (the DNC’s words, not mine... so far). At this point, the Republican party and it’s presumptive candidate, John McCain started floating the “elitist” title into the public ear and onto Obama’s flagless lapels. I think McCain chose that route because calling him a ni***r outright might be misconstrued by him as well as Hillary, who wields the word “elitist” like a Jedi and his light saber.

Obama, a former child user of foodstamps, is the biracial son born to a single white woman from Kansas and a Nigerian man, whom Barack has only has met once in his life. Hillary, a Wesleyan graduate, and her husband have made 109 million dollars over the past ten years. John McCain is married to a beer heiress and owns eight homes, but the black guy, from the broken home, is the “elitist” looking down on people. I don’t want to call them racist, but I think the utter shock of trailing a black man in this presidential race had them truly aghast and ready to do anything to keep this ‘perfect negro’ from their precious presidency. Media pundits have been stating that Bill Clinton has hit his stride by campaigning for votes in small, rural towns in North Carolina (see “all-white” & "redneck").

Barack Obama has run such clean and strong campaign that his opponents have had to resort to "kitchen sink" tatics (which is code for 'whatever it takes') and in this case, it means reminds the voters in clandentstine ways that Barack Obama is still black. That is done by communicating to rural voters, who have little contact with people of color, set him off from her by calling him "elitist" and drinking a beer. This Sunday, Obama appeared on Meet The Press with Tim Russert, who questioned him on the Reverend Wright subject for the first fifteen minutes, but all week Russert asked people on MSNBC, “when is the Wright situation going to go away?” I find it ironic that Russert continued the discussion instead of asking Mr. Obama about his policies. I wouldn’t be so upset about the “Reverend Wright” situation, if the pundits would ask Hillary Clinton about her former pastor, Rev. William Procanick, who was sentenced to three years in prison on Friday, for inappropriately touching a 7 year old child. Or how about asking John McCain to explain his steady welcoming the endorsement of the righteous, Rev. John Hagee, who said that Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans because they were hosting a gay parade (that is held annually). Or Hagee’s opinion that Catholicism is a whore religion and that teachers letting children read Harry Potter are promoting wichcraft. Again McCain has restated twice in recent weeks that he happily accepts this bizarre man’s endorsement. Even after denouncing Jeremiah Wright, if Wright were accused of pulling an “R. Kelly” on a 7 year old child or denouncing Catholicism, Obama 0-8 would be, oh so over. He would be raked over the coals worse than he already has been (if that’s possible). It has gotten so bad for Hillary and McCain that have resolved to flat out saying things like “he’s not like us”. Oh what could they mean by that remark? The scales are so tipped into Clinton and McCain’s favor that even the majority of mainstream media can’t recognize that they have fallen into the racial trap of steadily questioning “can he get the working white class vote”. Why is no one asking if Hillary can get the black vote? With about ten hours until the polls close I hear political pundits on TV saying they’re “still waiting for the Jeremiah Wright boot to drop”, since Wright hasn’t responded to Obama’s “divorcing” from him. How despondent are some members of mainstream media to wait for Obama, who holds the race lead to wait for the man he has formally denounced to speak again? There are like vultures awaiting the death of a thirsty animal crossing the desert.

We’ve been told numerous times that is mathematically impossible for Obama to lose this race and that Hillary has to win 66% of the vote in the remaining states to stay close. Yet, Hillary and her people keep twisting words like Lindsay Lohan’s publicist to make the public believe she still is in this thing. How can she do that? Because she believes that if she has a shot of something and a beer she magically becomes a non-educated, Gran Torino driving, white voter. And with that she implies to some voters through her thinly veiled veneer, “You know he’s black”. She has portrayed herself as a "fighter for the American people", but she has taken advantage of that stance and played on the ignorance of some non-black voters, who would easily react negatively, if Barack responded as a "fighter" as so many white pundits have requested him to do. Barack Obama knows the last thing some middle American or rural white mother needs to see is a man named Barack going off a sixty year old white woman. When it’s all said and done Obama is black, no matter how hard he has tried to get past it. He is reminded of it daily in what should be a very historic presidential race… if only Hillary would let it be that.

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