EXPERIENCE, NOT EXPECTED

JOB TITLE: President of the United States (POTUS)
DEPARTMENT: United States government
LOCATION: Washington, D.C.
EMPLOYMENT: Full Time (unless George W. Bush)
HIRING RANGE: $400K - $450K (more if in Republican cronies pocket)
JOB DUTIES: Leader of the free world
QUALIFICATIONS: calm demeanor, ability to lead and think under pressure, no previous experience as president needed, but helpful if possible.


That is the advertisement for the job that will be vacated and filled in November after the 2008 presidential election. One word that’s recently been put into heavy rotation, in the fight for the Democratic Presidential nomination is “EXPERIENCE”. It’s usually coming out of Hillary Clinton’s mouth or from one of her campaign commercials. Mrs. Clinton, who I had a lot more respect for early on in this race, has stooped to Republican style politics and becoming a fear-monger by playing the image of a sleeping little girl in her campaign commercial, while a haunting voice asks, “Who would you want answering the phone, if a call at 3 in the morning comes?” Well, for one if it’s in my house, it’s me, because I’m going to curse the son-of-a-bitch for calling me at that time. But in the White House, if America is at def-con 5, I want the person, who can think clearly and make an educated decision without killing people, if possible. I felt that Hillary had the potential to be one of those people, but daily she erodes at her character and reputation with these Roveian-style tatics. She and her campaign steadily speak of who has the experience, well I’ve got news for you Hillary, NO ONE has the experience. Until you are sworn in as POTUS, you do not know what it is like to be the POTUS. Living in the White House, appearing abroad for the POTUS and sleeping with the POTUS (or not sleeping with him), does not make you the POTUS. It makes you someone who lives in the White House, appears abroad, yada-yada-yada, you know where I’m going with this. I am by no means trying to belittle Mrs. Clinton’s accomplishments in this world, but her claiming that she “played an integral role in bringing peace to Northern Ireland because she attended a conference in Ireland is like me claiming I chipped in 13 points and 7 rebounds in the 1982 NCAA championship basketball game between North Carolina and Georgetown, because my father and I attended the game. Then again history may prove me wrong, when if I go to North Carolina to celebrate the 30 year anniversary of the game with Michael Jordan and then security might pull me off the court. Mrs. Clinton’s claim of her having foreign policy experience in Northern Ireland has been denounced by former Clinton administration assistant secretary of state, Susan Rice. Rice said, “She was present, but she did none of the heavy lifting”. I have heard of lying on your resume, but damn, that’s not like saying you worked at a Wendy’s in Baton Rouge, that’s saying you helped bring peace to a whole fricking country. I’m thinking somebody’s going to be able to vouch about what kind of worker you were and what you did. I can just imagine that phone conversation, “Hey this is Rose calling from BEST BUY in Torrance, California. We’re looking at hiring a Hillary Clinton. She says she worked for you at Wendy’s in Baton Rouge. She says ‘she helped in developing your new breakfast menu items and the training modules for new employees’. Then Frank, the Wendy’s manager angrily replies, “What?! It took her ass four months to make a good batch of fries.”

Now I’m not saying that you didn’t have the ability to develop menu items and training module, but be able to back up your lies, sister. Which brings me back to EXPERIENCE. Hillary has all of two years more experience as a U.S. Senator than Obama, that’s it. I don’t know where this 35 years of service comes from and nor will I take time to comprehend it. Being in ROTC, on the lacrosse team or in the Future Leaders of America at Wellesley College do not count as enough experience to be POTUS. George W.Bush had experience. He ran the state of Texas and you see what that’s gotten us, more blood on America’s hands, two ongoing wars, a trillion dollar debt and all of the world’s comedians thanking God nightly for him having two terms. I must also mention that I recall a man in 1992, who had very similar qualities to Barack Obama and all naysayers said he was a bright-eyed, dreamer and supposedly had no EXPERIENCE to hold the office of the presidency. His name was William Jefferson Clinton, her husband and he is considered one of this country’s greatest presidents or maybe she has forgotten the 90’s. I suggest that she and Bill talk more, because communication is the key to any good marriage. Bottom line, the only people, who know how to be president are the people who have held the office and sadly, George W. Bush is in that number Hillary and you are not (sobering thought isn’t it). Until you’re in the hot seat, you’ll never know what you will do, when the pressure is on. Archie Griffin is the only man to win back to back Heisman trophies, but he had a fair NFL career at best. Terence Trent D’arby was touted as a musical genius to replace Prince – it never happened and back to my favorite example of what experience means (or doesn’t mean) -- George W. Bush. Do you recall September 11, 2001? Three words, MY PET GOAT.

Now follow me to freedom!