Then New York Jets coach, Herm Edwards, to the press after his Jets lost a game in which they were heavily favored to win.
I have returned like a self-entitled conceited, millennial child, who believes his/her feces smells like lavender. Oh, well if that’s the case then just call me Kobe Bryant. For all the NBA fans, retro 80’s fans and possibly pop culture fans, the sacred rivalry of the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers has been recently renewed in the 2008 NBA Finals. Now a strange occurrence has come about. In the euphoria of winning the Western Conference Finals for the first since four years (that’s decades in Laker years), the Lakers and their band-wagoning fans forgot that the Celtics want to win championship too. Before the last shred of conference final confetti hit the floor, L.A. sports talk radio pundits and fans began predicting a four game sweep of the Green Machine and “how will GM Mitch two Kupchak keep all the Lakers together after this year's championship.
Well over the two Laker losses in the NBA finals, new questions have arisen, “Would a map help Kobe get into the paint?” and “How can we unload Lamar Odom and Pau Ga-"soft" at season’s end for some Artest/Rasheed type enforcers. The remarkable issue here is for some reason no one expected the Celtics to play like they wanted to hold the Larry O’Brien trophy too. It’s egregious arrogance that has some Laker fans referring to the 2008 edition of the Lakers as a dynasty, trying to erect shrines to one Kobe Bean Bryant and attempting to block off the street to Staples Center for a victory parade without a victory. And yes, you read me correctly, DYNASTY. Bootleg t-shirts have hit the streets of Los Angeles with Jerry West’s, Magic Johnson’s and Kobe’s #24 jerseys celebrating three Laker dynasties. The curious thing about this celebratory tee, is no third dynasty, because Kobe’s Lakers have yet to win a championship (I hate to drive that fact home, but no one seems to get it). A dynasty contains multiple championships won within relatively a close span of time (see, Spurs, Pistons, etc). Fact of the matter is, there was a third Laker dynasty and it 0was during the years 2000 to 2003, when future Hall of Famer, Shaquille O’Neal lead the Lakers to three NBA titles and himself to three Finals MVP trophies. I marvel at how Laker loyalists or bandwagoners (your call) have completely forgotten the 7’2”, 345 pound man who played center for the Lakers and saved this franchise from the dark years (remember Del Harris, Cedric Ceballos era— I thought you could). There is a desperate need by Laker fans to see a Kobe and only Kobe lead the Lakers to another title. Forgive my ignorance, but James Naismith created a sport called basketball in 1891 centered around a concept that the team with the most points at the expiration of time wins the game, not the team with the ego-driven “2” guard, who wants people to say to him “you’re better than Michael Jordan” can only win. Call me crazy, but that definitely seems in conflict with Mr. Naismith’s original idea. In my opinion, all Kobe’s conditions, in which he needs to win are what have the Lakers down in this series now. Hear Kobe’s decree, “I want to win the NBA championship with the Los Angeles Lakers for a fourth time, while leading the team throughout the series in all statistical categories, the media will adoringly refer to the Lakers as “my team” and I will win the MVP trophy and get to speak first and last at the Victory parade, which I will lead in the late model Maserati, which Laker GM Mitch Kupchak will buy me for not leaving the team this past summer. Look, I think you get it—- Kobe’s wants a championship ring and title with conditions. In closing, a junkyard dog that wants steak instead of ground chuck is not as desperate as a junkyard dog, who just wants to eat. And trust me, Kobe, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce are hungry... and Doc Rivers is taking off the leashes.
Now follow me! Follow me to freedom!
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