DEEZIE'S HOUSE OF HAIR “APOLOGIZES”

Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice “apologized” to Democratic presidential nominee candidate, Barack Obama after “discovering” that on three separate times (Jan.9th, Feb. 28th, Mar. 14th) Senator Obama’s passport filed had been breached by two independent contractors and one state department employee (who have been respectively fired and reprimanded, since). This was not reported to Obama’s camp until as early as yesterday -- yes, it took 71 days to report the breach of the passport file of a U.S. Senator and potential presidential nominee. It was quickly stated by a state department employee that these were low level employees and the file was only breached because of “curiosity”. Deezie than proceeded to apologize to senators John McCain and Hillary Clinton because their passport files have also been breached.

I find it extremely ironic (and unbelievable I might add) that just an hour after this discovery, state department employees, who were so incompetent, that they couldn’t inform Barack Obama (a daily staple of national news) of such heinous breach. They were able to determine the purpose behind these breaches by three separate entities by saying they were “based in curiosity only”. I mean that’s like kids running a lemonade stand developing the business acumen of Reginald Lewis and Bill Gates in 71 days. I don’t mean to doubt the efficiency of a government that has spent close to a trillion dollars on a 5 year old war that has supposedly been won already (remember “Mission Accomplished), but DAYUUUUM. It also speaks to the state department leadership, which brings me back to Birmingham’s favorite black woman, Deezie Rice. Isn’t amazing how she also discovered that McCain and Clinton’s passport files have been breached as Obama’s was? I mean a firestorm was brewing that Barack Obama, the Republican Party’s worst nightmare and America’s favorite political rock star, had his classified file be violated by a Bush Administration state department (which is faulty at best). A Bush Administration that is son of a Bush Administration that did the exact same thing to a former presidential nominee named William Jefferson Clinton. Coincidence, I think not. Think of it, America’s wolf-like media was chomping at the bit to get the story that the Republican Guard – I mean Republican’s Party may be at their clandestine best again to taint what could be America’s first black president. At best, if I give Deezie the benefit of the doubt that there were no evil intentions in these breaches -- she’s running the state department like a cash only beauty parlor, Deezie’s House of Hair, “We Do Perms & Classified Files”. All I KNOW for sure is that “discovering” that McCain and Clinton’s files were breached takes away the spotlight from the “evil” intentions angle on this passport breach story. All I can SAY to this "coincidental" happening of "coincidental events" is “Welcome to Deezie’s House of Hair”.

Now follow me to freedom!

CHUCKLEPUSS CELEBRATES 5 YEARS

mission (mi-shun) The business with which such a body of persons is charged OR a special assignment that is given to a person or group.

accomplished (a-kom-plisht) Unquestionable; task completed

Together these words form the phrase MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. These are the words used by President Chucklepuss two weeks after U.S. forces and the "coalition of the willing" (what a crock of sh** that title was) entered Iraq and toppled the regime of Saddam Hussein or more like the statue of Saddam Hussein. Either way it's been five years since that heralded day and 4000 American body bags later we celebrate the 5th anniversary of the occupation of Iraq AKA "The Quagmire That won't Quit". Chucklepuss has lied to the American public so much about it he believes we've been successful and Vice President Stroke-Mouth just doens't give a fu** about the American public as much as he cares about Haliburton stock. He told a reporter after being told that two thirds of the American public disagree with this war, "SO". Is that not that not taking it from behind with no grease America or maybe I should direct that question at the people, who were lobotomized enough to vote for Chucklepuss in 2004. I could say more, but the economy and this ongoing war says something everyday.

Now follow me! Follow me to freedom!

STUMPY HAS BEEN FINALLY FOUND

Stumpy the race elephant has finally been found. Yes, after hundreds of years of slavery and institutionalized racism of Jim Crow, Stumpy the two-ton race elephant has been found in the family room of this 3 BD, 2 BTH, ranch house called America. Stumpy has been walking back and forth through this house, tearing up furniture, taking dumps in the living room and knocking over sh** and never been noticed. He was found this morning by Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama. Obama was forced to speak on the subject of race, after offensive, incendiary remarks against America and white people were made by his long time Pastor Jeremiah Wright. Obama was subsquently, pushed by the "talking heads" to do the perfunctory denouncing and separation of association with his pastor.

Well, he did it in brilliant (and I don't like to use that word often) fashion before an audience in Philadelphia. He started the speech off with the words:

“We the people, in order to form a more perfect union.”

He opened this speech with his ultimate goal and hopefully the goal of this nation, so fractured, by class warfare and definitely race relations. Obama proceeded to denounce his "former pastor's words"-- and those were Obama's words-- and I don't know how much further he can separate himself from the man. Well, I have an idea, but that would be called manslaughter. As I listened I felt as I was watching a historic speech in the making. There are very few times, a person can truly realize when they're watching history being made and today we saw it. I finally felt in my lifetime that a politician was speaking to me as an adult American, who can take the unfiltered, truth instead of spewing sculpted lies to me. Mr. Obama took what was to be a defensive action against a media chomping at the bit and used it to speak to America, in the manner I believe he would if he held the office of POTUS. The man was clearly presidential in this speech and not just a potential nominee. He expressed that he knows one speech cannot solve this scab on America's history, but can we at least start to address it. In my heart I believe that today's words began to bridge the gap between the "Reagan Democrats" whites and "Clinton sure was good to us" blacks. He showed both groups their good and bad qualities and hopefully that he could denounce one's words and not the person. Hopefully, people will understand that we can BEGIN, not SOLVE, but begin to tackle the problem of race and make America see it's true potential.

As I close I know that the "talking heads" will cherry pick through this speech, and magnfy and critique what they feel is important. Barack Obama displayed the qualities I think we all want in a president, a man, who responds calmly, quickly and directly in the face of adversity. Obama made a call to America to grow up and with reward of growng up there are growng pains. If Obama's call is answered by America to acknowledge and finally feed Stumpy the Race Elephant some peanuts, history could show that this speech may have been the impetus. If not Stumpy's going to starve and keep tearing up sh**.

Now follow me to freedom!

GOV. DAVE "Days Inn" PATERSON HAD A ROOM AT THE NO-TELL MOTEL

Newly sworn in New York governor David "Days Inn" Paterson placed all his cards on the table his first day in office.

Responding to rumors circulating in Albany, Paterson and his wife, Michelle, told the Daily News of New York City that both had affairs during a rough patch in their marriage several years ago.

“This was a marriage that appeared to be going sour at one point,” Paterson told the Daily News. “But I went to counseling and we decided we wanted to make it work. Michelle is well aware of what went on.”

Paterson told the newspaper that he maintained a relationship with another woman from 1999 until 2001. He and his wife, Michelle, eventually sought counseling and repaired their relationship. The couple did not go into details. Paterson and the other woman sometimes stayed at a Days Inn on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, the governor said, adding that his Albany staff sometimes stayed there as well when they were in the city. Paterson said he did not use government or campaign funds to pay for the romantic encounters.

Big Dave might be legally, blind, but quite obviously somebody caught his eye. I guess he figured, he'd better let folks know he got his freak on. Now that's it out there folks have to live with it and let him get to running the state. In his defense, he wasn't paying for it(see former New York governor Spitzer) and he and his wife weren't having a 3-way with their driver(see former New Jersey governor McGreevy). But I don't think that First Lady Paterson would've stood for a freakset anyway. Do you see her in the photo above? She has a "I will not hesitate to rip off my earrings, put some Vaseline on and beat somebody's ass" look on her face.

In an age, where Bill Clinton admits to using but not smoking, Barack Obama admits to smoking and inhaling-- I find it quite refreshing to have a governor say "I was creeping. I was creeping on my old lady for 2 years. And she was getting her freak on too." It's very European, like having a French president without denouncing your American citizenship." We as a country are realizing that people in esteemed offices can have flawed pasts and still perform their appointed duties. So unless the next embarrassed American governor is f***ing a monkey, please don't call me.

Now follow me to freedom!

THE NEW MODELS ARE IN

Here is a glass, dirty and its water foul. If you offer it to the people and they have no choice, they must drink out of it. But if they have a choice...

Elijah Muhammad, in the film, Malcolm X

We as human beings and even more as Americans like shiny, new things. For real, we as a people like us some new things with all the bells and whistles. It’s very natural to be drawn to that which is different from the norm, because again we like news things and have a choice. Without choice we must take what we get and be satisfied (or not, it's our CHOICE to be happy).

If you walk onto a car lot daily and there are 200 mint-conditioned, Diesel Mercedes Benzes, as good as these mint-conditioned steel, chariots may be, if a different model is placed on the lot, people are going to give it a look. But if a new, washed and waxed late model anything is on the lot getting it’s shine on, people will give it a serious look, as in the case of this year’s presidential race. After years and years of staring at 43 very similar models (see “white men”), two NEW experimental models have been placed on the lot with hopes that one of them will go into “production” (see "working in the white house") in 2009. And believe me, these models are turning heads. On one platform we have the Hillary Clinton, who is a woman that comes in a pearl white with a belief in universal health care and a husband, who actually held the office for eight years. And in the main showroom is the 08 Barack Obama, in a midnight black with a bright plan for America’s future and the belief that Washington, DC politics can change for the better.

I say this because in this race for the mortgage on the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue a lot of the “talking heads” are throwing about the theory “you’re only voting for Clinton because she’s a woman” or “you’re voting for Obama because he’s black”. Well, a lot of people are voting for McCain because he’s white. So people get over it. We as humans usually make decisions on what we see at first and then investigate further. Hence my car lot theory. A number of people are looking to Obama and Clinton because they are the new cars on the lot and most folks like “new extras” (see 'bells & whistles or way of thinking) that they will bring to the White House. McCain on the other hand is that pre-owned, dependable, diesel, automobile, but he’s still got crank windows, no cup holders and no cruise control. Folks respect the ride, but they're looking for what's new, not the same damn car we've been riding in for almost eight years. Now after you test drive the Clinton or the Obama (like most of their supporters did) and you’re still not feeling them, you don’t have to buy it. But if you like it, you have the choice to go with it because you investigated it and not because of some so-called, knee jerk reaction to color or gender. No doubt color and gender have played a part in people’s decision this election a lot, but that is because we haven’t had any other choices throughout history. Since 1789, white men have run this country for 309 years, but suddenly there’s an, uproar because a white woman or a black man thinks they can do it better. After 300 years I'd like to think you guys could give somebody else a shot. In the end, I’m buying me an, 08 model and I’m getting it loaded.

Now follow me to freedom!

THE WIRE HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN III or wtf do we do now?

I just sat in front of my television for an hour watching part 1 of an HBO mini-series titled, JOHN ADAMS. I only mention it because it took me a damn hour to realize that THE WIRE wasn't returning tonight. WTF do we do now?!

THE WIRE HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN II or how the gay shall lead them

"Money don't have no owners, only spenders."
Omar Little, whose profession is robbing drug dealers on HBO’s “The Wire


That was just one of the many, quick-witted phrases uttered by one of those most dynamic, layered and feared characters on television in the last 20 years. Omar Little was played subtlety and nuanced by Michael K. Williams. This character caught the eyes and gathered a quick fan base with his Robin Hood M.O. of robbing from the drug dealers of Baltimore or the rich (at least as far as the hood was concerned). Omar was built of the stuff that makes legends. This man walked the streets West Baltimore wielding a shotgun with the gait of Clint Eastwood in a Sergio Leone spaghetti western. And as Eastwood his presence struck fear in all around to the point, where people yell, “Omar coming!” and the streets clear like a level 5 hurricane was coming to town.

Then there was Felecia “Snoop” Pearson, hitman and ‘muscle’ for the Marlo Stanfield drug empire. Nothing may have been more bone-chilling, as the non-chalant manner in which she shopped at Home Depot with a sales person for a nail gun in the season 4 opening episode, “Boys of Summer”. It was so scary because throughout the conversation, you didn’t know if she was man or woman and you felt this nail gun was to be used for more than nailing a support beam. And it was, as she and her partner in crime, Chris used it to reseal a makeshift row house tomb, in which they placed their victims. The actress -- Felecia Pearson -- and the character are of the same name. It’s hard to divide the artist from the art, because before her television debut, Felecia had done time in prison, for manslaughter.

As I’ve read the many, threads online about the ending of this television series, I’ve found that these two anti-heroes, who both met untimely demises in The Wire’s final season had rabid fan followings. Many begged for Omar not to be dead, even after they saw him, dead as a doornail, atop a morgue slab. Yes, there are those who theorized that it was not Omar that took the bullet to the head, but his older brother. Far fetched? Yes, but this proves how deep a character, that was only to be on the show in the first season, can touch a nerve. Snoop, with her thick, Baltimore patois, may has uttered the most “G” last words ever (“How my hair look Mike?”), seconds before she took one to the back of the head. There are so many “R.I.P.” and “I will miss you girl” in the online threads, it’s hard to pick a specific one. All I can say is, “I’m happy to finally see these two openly gay characters have such enormous followings. Yes, gay, two of today’s most feared television characters were homosexuals. Many a “thug-life reppin’ fools”, after watching an episode of The Wire were acting like little boys imitating their sports heroes, “I’m Omar!”, “No, man, I’m Omar!”. Those calls were brought to a screeching halt after Omar tenderly, kissed his stick-up partner and lover Brandon in the first season. Then the homophobia kicked into Millennium Falcon hyperspeed. You’d hear people say, “Man, I dug Omar, but then he did that gay stuff. I ain’t like that.” Nobody is saying you were taking Omar to the “No-Tell, Motel” and giving him the heat, if you say you like his character. His homo-thugness (and I might stress fake homo-thugness) can’t come through the television and rub off on you. These homo-phobic thoughts continued on until Omar was brought back in season 2, but many couldn’t resist Omar’s charm or words that were never tainted by profanities and his old school, gangster code of ethics-- you never going after a man on Sunday or he would never ‘do dirt’ on a “civilian” (one not in the drug game). And while the show always maintained and showed that Omar was man, who loved men (without showing it for exploitation), he as still revered by “WIRE” fans off all demographics. Snoop’s sexuality was never put out there, but it was just implied. Just as her ‘muscle’ and hitman partner Chris, whose personal life was implied and that’s all because with such a large cast to service you can’t always get into personal lives unless it’s part of the plot. Through the seasons, I have met WIRE fans, in the black community, who are churchgoing and as I said, thug-life repping and all in between. I find it ironic in a community that is known for it’s rampant, homophobia has embraced two homosexual characters like they have an “S” or a “bat symbol” on their chests. Then again, these characters are also both cold-blooded killers, which makes me think. Does having the ability to kill without fear or repercussion make Omar and Snoop’s sexual tastes more palatable? If Omar, as well spoken as moston the show, were an attorney, would his fan base be as big? If Snoop were a teacher at the deteriorating middle school in season 4, would we feel the same about her death? I mean Detective Kima Greggs is an open lesbian, but I have yet to find the official Detective Greggs website online. I’m going believe or hope that we are evolving as a community. Even if it’s not true, it helps me sleep easier (that’s bullsh**, I’m going to sleep like a baby no matter what).

These two, nefarious Baltimore hoods will never be forgotten. I myself will never forget Omar or Snoop. In addition, I will probably have to go into a detox facility to stop referring to Omar and Snoop like they are real people.

Now follow me to freedom!